don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Only a mothe r could love this liver
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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