Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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