I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
