I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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