paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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