Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
When did angry sex become our thing?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
