So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
