in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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