I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So much rum. So many feels.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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