He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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