Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
