i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
