check it out our google latitudes are spooning
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
