he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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