There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
