oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
There r osticjed everywhere
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
