Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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