I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just want nice things and good sex
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
