...so i touched it.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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