its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
