You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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