you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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