it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
