you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
