I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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