I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
