where does the pee come out of this thing
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
