I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
