she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
