the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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