I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying