I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
