Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman