super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times