Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter