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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved