puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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