i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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