I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
