I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
then he tried to convert me to islam
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
