The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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