haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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