so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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