i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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