Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just blew my weed a kiss
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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