Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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