I want to walk on stilts...naked
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
