weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
