Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize