Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.