can u get pink eye on your cock?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize