guess who came home with a hottie last night
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
This is sufficient.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.