Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i will never coherently bang her
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.