The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
the condom got lost in my hair
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
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Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My day in three words: secret purse cake
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Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.