U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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