you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
