dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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