I wish i was in the wii world.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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