Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
