She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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