Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bartender felt bad for me
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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