Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
