What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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