would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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