No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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