Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
