I smell stomach acid.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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