I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
