when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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