They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
