She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
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want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
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I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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