I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You are the jesus of drinking
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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