Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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