Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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