There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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