He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
